International Waters!
Dear Friends,
The Hard Taco song for October, "Run Randomonium" is frenetic, fresh, frenzied, and Freudian. And for you, it’s free.
We're starting to think about planning a family vacation next year, and intend to advocate for a transatlantic cruise. Caribbean cruises are very pleasant, and I like hurricane-ravaged jewelry shops as much as the next guy, but I have a very good reason for wanting to go all the way across the pond. Once you are 24 nautical miles from the coast, you are no longer subject to the laws of any sovereign nation! If you get caught smuggling exotic plants or murdering an endangered bird, there will be ZERO legal consequences. All you have to do is shout "international waters!" and throw the bodies overboard before the ship gets within 24 nautical miles of your destination.
Now that I've picked my trip and premeditated some maritime crimes, I need to choose a cruise line. Here are the top contenders.
Princess
Clientele: The decidedly old.
Entertainment: Aaron Copeland impersonators.
Typical amenities: Power scooter-accessible lifeboats, "Teen Club" for travelers between the age of 113 and 118.
Unique features: Ticket price covered by most long-term care insurance policies.
