The Sorcerer's Kidney Stone

Dear Friends,

The Hard Taco song for January, "Kentucky," tells the touching story of a journey home at the end of one's life. Traveling great distances to die at home is common to both Kentuckians and salmon. Here are some other similarities: 1. Often raised on farms.  2. Bite anything shiny.

There's Talent, Oh Yes, and a Thirst to Prove Yourself. But Where Shall I Put You?
There was a lab section during the renal pathophysiology course in medical school that had achieved quite a bit of notoriety. We heard rumors from the class ahead of us, rumors which filled us with wonder and fear. The students, they told us, would be divided into four groups: beer, Pepsi, water, and broth. We would be obligated to drink as much of the assigned beverage as we could endure, collect our urine, and run tests on it. Through this, we would learn about how the human kidney handles alcohol, caffeine, and salt.

Also, we would get to see what our classmates pee looked like, so there was that.

When we got to the renal unit, the lab instructor read off our libation assignments. He used carefully placed pregnant pauses, ushering our anticipation to a fever pitch.

Jason Baker... Beer!
Peggy Berdelman... Water!

Jason and Peggy pumped their fists and ran over to their lab benches where their new beverage buddies waited with cheers and high fives.

Zach London....

I had recently read the first Harry Potter book, so I tried influencing the outcome the way Harry would have. I closed my eyes tightly and concentrated. Not broth, not broth.

Are you sure? You could do great with broth. It's all there in your kidneys, and broth could help you on the way to greatness... there's no doubt about that.

Not broth, anything but broth.

Okay, if you're sure, better be... BROTH!

The real Hogwarts Sorting Hat wasn't a jackass, but I wasn't so lucky.

Read more »