Maggie and Midge

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From "There, There"

I. JOLLY JACK ARISTOCRATS

Aristocrats:
We're jolly jack aristocrats
Big round guts
Big top hats
A monocle a piece
And a feast each day
Throw another lump
In the old Earl Grey
Jolly jack aristocrats
Big round guts
Big top hats
A monocle a piece
And a feast each day
Throw another lump
In the old Earl Grey

Northumberland:
The Duchess of Pembridge
Her escort, Lord Bembridge

Duchess of Pembridge:
We greet the assemblage
In this promenade

Lord Bembridge:
My holdings are tremendous
My mustache, stupendous

Duchess of Pembridge:
This treacle's horrendous
I shall slap your maid!

Aristocrats:
We're jolly jack aristocrats
Big round guts
Big top hats
A monocle a piece
And a feast each day
Throw another lump
In the old Earl Grey
Jolly jack aristocrats
Big round guts
Big top hats
A monocle a piece
And a feast each day
Throw another lump
In the old Earl Grey

II. DOFFE SHOPPE GIRL

Maggie:
Life is so blah
Regaling the bourgeois
Same old same old
Every day
Pageants trumpets
Ceremonial crumpets
I wish I could
Run away...

Vera:
Pardon me, Ms. Prime Minister
Take a looksy at the doffe shoppe girl
Kind of quiet but anyhow
It's uncanny how she looks just like
Pardon me, Ms. Prime Minister
Take a looksy at the doffe shoppe girl
Kind of quiet but anyhow
It's uncanny how she looks just like you
Just like you
Just like you
Just like you

Maggie:
You there, doffer
I'll make you an offer
You... me... switch!

Midge:
Crikey!
You mean
You want me to be the queen

Maggie:
No, not the queen
But you would be rich...
III. PRIME MINISTER

Maggie:
You 're going to be the Prime Minister
The top Parliament seat
The Prime Minister
The first lady of Downing Street
The Prime Minister
The top Parliament seat
The Prime Minister
The Lord Chancellor of Downing Street
Indeed,
It's true
But first
We'll have to make a proper lady of you

Midge:
I gets to be the Prime Minister
The Right Honourable Mum
The Prime Minister
I'll have to powder me face and bum
Prime Minister
The House of Commons and me
They 're gonna love the Prime Minister
Cause I'm as common as I can be
Oh yeah
They'll see
But first
We'll have to make a
Blimey bloomin ruddy
Bleedin flamin bloody
Lady of me!
But how

Maggie:
With the help of the Lord High Steward
With the help of the Lord High Steward
The Duke of Northumberland
The Duke of Northumberland
IV. CAESER AND OUIZER

Northumberland:
At your service
Now, Midge
Repeat after me...
Caeser's sister Ouizer has a seizure
Midge:
Caeser's sister Ouizer has a fit
Northumberland:
When Caeser sees her seize, he tends to tease her
Midge:
When Caeser sees her seize, he tends to tease her

Northumberland:
Yes,
But when Ouizer's seizure's pleasing
And Caeser sees her seizing
He's pleased,
Instead of teasing her he'll squeeze her
Now Ouizer tends to seize when it is freezing
And Caeser tends to wheeze when Ouizer's seizing
At three degrees o'er freezing
Then Ouizer ceases seizing
When Caeser sees her cease, he ceases wheezing
Now you
Midge:
Caesers sister Ouizer has a seizure
And when Caeser sees her seize, he tends to tease her
But when...
What
What's all that then
Northumberland:
Now listen here
Caeser and Ouizer
Are sister and brother
They love one another
But sometimes they fight
Ouizer and Caeser
Are brother and sister

Midge:
And I tells ya mister
This time I'll gets it right!
Caeser's sister Ouizer has a seizure
When Caeser sees her seize, he tends to tease her
But when Ouizer's seizure's pleasing
And Caeser sees her seizing
He's pleased,
Instead of teasing her he'll squeeze her
Now Ouizer tends to seize when it is freezing
And Caeser tends to wheeze when Ouizer's seizing
At three degrees o'er freezing
Then Ouizer ceases seizing
When Caeser sees her cease, he ceases wheezing

Midge and Northumberland:
Caeser and Ouizer
Are sister and brother
They love one another

Northumberland:
But sometimes they fight

Midge and Northumberland:
Ouizer and Caeser
Are brother and sister

Midge:
And I tells ya mister
This time I got it right!

Northumberland:
This time you got it right
Midge:
This time you got it right
Northumberland:
This time you got it right
Midge and Northumberland:
This time I (you) got it right
Right right right
Right!
Laura Sagolla - Maggie Thatcher (a prime minister)
Lauren London - Midge Oxley (a doffer)
Thellea Leveque - Vera Smythe (an assistant to the prime minister)
Zach London - Northumberland (a lord high steward and duke)
Dea Boster - Duchess of Pembridge (a haughty aristocrat)
Praveen Dayalu - Lord Bembridge (an arrogant gentleperson)
Darin Zahuranec - Bentley (a coronet player)
Copyright 2006 Zach London

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