End All Life In Wisconsin: The VIP Package
The Hard Taco song for August is called, "Fig Leaves." This song pairs well with monster truck rallies, military parades, yacht christenings, and pet funerals. I would not recommend it for candlelight vigils, naturalization ceremonies, or as interstitial music between TED Talks.
This summer, Malcolm achieved licensure/certification to drive a motorboat in Wisconsin, allowing him to serve as waterski instructor at his sleep away camp. The certification does not have reciprocity in other states, so I assume the written test covered Wisconsin-specific safety topics, such as Musky right-of-way etiquette.
The camp administration covered the fees his boat safety course and certificate. This got him thinking — what if he wanted to level up his Wisconsin DNR privileges? How much would it cost to be certified in... everything? For starters, there are sixteen recreational pay-to-kill licenses, including deer, bear, and wolf hunting, fur dresser/dyer, general fishing, and sturgeon-spearing. You can also get inland trout stamps, the pheasant stamp, and goose permits. All told, you can compete the murder-everything grand slam for an annual fee of $547.75.
