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The Caroline Special

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From "Chicken"

Well, my girl Frieda,

You finally gonna meet her,

She gonna make a man of you.

You must've heard the rumors,

She looks her in the bloomers,

And suddenly your face turn blue.

Well, my girl Gertie,

She like to do the dirty,

She like to do the laundry clean.

She try and take my sweater

And usually I let her,

'Cause she the finest thing I seen.

So put me on the Caroline Special.

Put me on a special train.

Put me on the Caroline Special.

I gotta get me on that train.

Well, my girl Sadie,

She such a fine lady,

She make you wanna get your fill.

Well, she come from Ole Virginny,

She tall as she is skinny,

And skinny as a dollar bill.

I said, my girl Fanny,

She ugly as a granny,

But love me sugar all the time (all the time).

She take you for your whiskey,

But once you gettin' frisky,

She leave you with a single dime.

So put me on the Caroline Special.

Put me on a special train, special train (special train).

Put me on the Caroline Special.

Lord, oh, I gotta get me on that train.

(Lord I gotta get me on that train allright now people...)

The Benefactor

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From "Hrafnkel's Saga: The Rock Opera"

Narrator: It was at the Althing that Sam would formally press charges against Hrafnkel for killing Einar. But first, he would have to get the support of the other chieftans.

Sam:

Whoa...I believe it's time

That Hrafnkel resigns his bloody throne

He...did injustice to me

A breach of conduct law does not condone

But justice can't be brought by law alone

And that is why I tell you so

I need your help to see he's overthrown

Whoa...you're reluctant to go

Cuz all who've tried before have been disgraced

But when...you supply me with men

I'm sure we can defeat him in this case

So let's put this oppressor in his place!

Grab your swords and grab your shields

The key is what the winner wields!

Chieftan:

Now wait a second even if this WAS within our reach

Sam don't let this get way out of hand

And see yourself for what you are and not for what you preach

You just want his women and his land!

Sam and Thorbjorn:

Oh...the victims of that blow

We are all the victims of that blow

Oh...what you don't know

You and I are only victims...

Sam:

Whoa...and I'm sure you all know

A friend who fell to Hrafnkel before

True...he's not killed all of you

But a guy like that you never know the score

Just wait until he's busting down your door

So don't just sit there on your butt

There's wrongs to right you left unwrought before.

Thorkel:

Perhaps I can help... your cause seems worthy.

Thorbjorn:

Are you a chieftan

Thorkel:

No, but my brother is. See him lying there in that tent He has had a boil on his foot since he has got here. This morning it burst and now the core's out. Old man, I want you to go over and yank on his foot.

Thorbjorn:

Allright.

Thorgeir:

Yeoooow! What the heck are you doing, you old man.

Thorkel:

There you go Thorgeir. Now you know the pain this old man feels at the loss of a kinsmen.

Thogeir:

By gosh, Thorkel my brother you are right. And therefore it follows that I will support him with all my soldiers and with my own life. Let's go!

Narrator: When Hrafnkel got to the Althing he found it surrounded by soldiers. He fought to get in, but Thorgeir's men held him off, and the trial was a go.

Hrafnkel:

I think you think you have beat me.

You call this a victory

Well we're all quite impressed

But now tell me do you really think

This trial will accomplish crap

Go ahead with your beauracracy

I'm going home to take a nap!

Narrator: So Hrafnkel and his men rode back to Adalbol to rid their minds of the nonesense going on at the Althing. But Sam had a plan. Two weeks after the Althing ended, he gathered all of his men and Thorgeir's men and rode up to a mountain above Adalbol very early in the morning, before the sun was up. There, they dismounted and ran down the hill on foot to the attack. They burst in and found Hrafnkel still in bed.

(Anitra Brooks - vocals

Josh Siegel - vocals and guitar

Tom Kirchoffer - drums

Sam Jeffries - vocals

Jim Robbins - additional shouting)

The Battlements

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From "Beowulf: The Rock Opera"

Narrator: Unable to defeat Grendel with all of his men, Hrothgar grew sick from grief and rarely left his bed. Twelve years passed, and Grendel continued to kill anyone who went into Heorot. Until one night, word of Denmark's troubles reached Geatland, and neighboring kingdom. The strong but peace-loving king of Geatland, Hygelac, lived with his royal tribunal and his restless young nephew, Beowulf, a nobody in the Geatish court who took the news of Denmark's troubles as a seeming opportunity to make a name for himself.

Beowulf:

The battlements yawn as the day's begun

There's villages to be crushed and battles to be won,

But my fat-ass uncle sits around all day

Staring up at the sun.

Making amends

With his diplomat friends

Am I the only normal one

I'd like to work on my physique.

I'd like to swim underwater for a half a week.

But my uncle plays checkers in bed

When instead we've got havoc to wreak.

But bloodthirsty war

Could by Hygelac's oar

If he weren't rowing up shit creek.

In Denmark the people aren't so plain...

As a matter of fact they take pride in being inhumane!

But I heard that a monster's assault

Put a halt to their waxing amain.

So the Geat life is flat

Baby I can fix that,

I'll just Carpe Daem, seize the Dane!

What, ho Wiglaf!

Wiglaf:

Yes, sir!

Beowulf:

Get me uncle's fourteen best thanes and two full-rigged barques. We're going to Denmark!

Wiglaf:

Yes sir!

(Jon Greenlee - vocals, drums, bass, lead guitar)

The Battle

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From "Beowulf: The Rock Opera"

Narrator: As the moon hung low on the horizon, Grendel stalked in from the moors. Finding Heorot full of sleeping men, he happily ripped one of Beowulf's thanes from his bed, and chewed him up in great bites. As he did, Beowulf carefully noted Grendel's method of attack. Then, he sprung out of his own bed, spun Grendel around, and confronted him.

Beowulf:

Grendel, you're expecting

That I should turn and flee.

Grendel:

All the thanes I've murdered

Are likely to agree...

Beowulf:

That may be so, but they weren't me!

You think you're huge,

Well I can hurl you just as far!

Grendel:

I can't wait to tear your skull apart!

Beowulf:

Your're strong, but you fight like a girl.

Grendel:

I admit that for a man you're smart

But I'll still remove your heart.

Beowulf:

You're so dumb and you're so slow,

You missed you blob of fat!

Grendel:

Hey, let go of my arm!

Beowulf:

Take this!

Grendel:

Hey, let go of my Arrrrrrrr!

Beowulf:

Take THAT!

Grendel:

I'll get you Beowulf!

Beowulf:

Unlikely at this point.

I've got your arm right here,

And you're bleeding from the joint.

That's right, run away!

Run away...

(Jeremy Dubin - vocals

Jon Greenlee - drums, bass, vocals)

Hard Taco Radio

The Caroline Special

The Benefactor

The Battlements

The Battle

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