There's nothing these 10 fingers cannot do
With sticky googly eyes and glitter glue
Cause these are precious moments through and through
I got poofy album
You and me, we scrapbooking
Acrylic stamps and ink and pinking shears
Preserve the very best of yesteryear
In page protectors that are hella clear
I got a poofy album
You and me we scrapbooking
I’ve been buying
Rubber cement by the liter
Since before they wrote the Bhagavad Gita
I’m the crown jewel of craft
Girl, you can call me Velveeta
I’m the boss of the keepsake milieu
So don’t cross me unless or until you
Get lost in the thrill
Of embossed twill
And fill a really frilly folio with memorabilia
Of your familia
Will ya commemorate ‘em through pics?
Put some new pics in a great collage
There’s a few tricks for a decoupage
Made of toothpicks set in Mod Podge
And my garage is chock-full of card stock
And it’s stocked full of art chalk
And it’s box after box full of glue sticks
Sing it with me if you dig the acoustics
There’s nothing these 10 fingers cannot do
With sticky googly eyes and glitter glue
Cause these are precious moments through and through
I got poofy album
You and me, we scrapbooking
Newspaper clippings from the day you born
Your ankle bracelet from the O.B. ward
A fragment of your umbilical cord
I gotta poofy album
You and me we scrapbooking
Cut and paste
Cut and paste
All day I cut and paste
Cut and paste
I do both with taste
I wrote a bad review for Elmer’s glue
Now Elmer hates my guts
You can’t trust that shit on doilies
Or even cheap Disney die cuts
Floral prints are so classy
Like coral chintz, so I’m amassing
A vast array of acid free
Pages filled to capacity
So tick tock
Off goes the smock
Tick tock
It’s sticker o’clock
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Stickers!
I got so many stickers it’ll give you sticker shock
Stickers!
Every vegetable, mineral and animal
Stickers!
Every moniker from Zachary to Annabel
Mushroom clouds in pastels, seashells, wedding bells
For your Armageddon-themed wedding on Sanibel
Got stickers for all the holidays-es
Thought bubbles fraught with thoughtful phrases
A happy tooth, saying “I got braces!”
Me and Michael’s and JoAnn’s on a first-name basis
There’s nothing these 10 fingers cannot do
With sticky googly eyes and glitter glue
Cause these are precious moments through and through
I got poofy album
You and me, we scrapbooking
A birth announcement from The Jewish News
A postcard from the grave of Langston Hughes
The theme is any random crap I choose
I gotta poofy album
You and me we scrapbooking
Went to Europe in your gap year?
Scrapbook it
Took the brewery tour for Pabst beer?
Scrapbook it
Had a reassuring Pap Smear?
Scrapbook it
Got some table scraps here?
Make a table scrap-booklet
A warm letter from your fella’s momma?
Scrapbook it
A form letter Michelle Obama?
Scrapbook it
A torn-up ticket from my high school drama
Scrapbookin’ll turn a common prom into a proper Prom-o-rama.
A lock of hair from your first barber cut?
Scrap it.
The score sheet from the Ann Arbor putt putt?
I’ve never been to Pearl Harbor but
I got an iron-on patch saying Pearl Harbor What What!
You need the right utensil
When you get sentimental
Just grab a colored pencil
Color that diploma stencil
We got that golden tassel
Your speech from your commencement
There’s no defense against
The stencil culture I’m dispensing
There’s nothing these 10 fingers cannot do
With sticky googly eyes and glitter glue
Cause these are precious moments through and through
I got poofy album
You and me, we scrapbooking
A photo of the Frodo cape I wore
For Trick-or-treating back in ‘94
I swear I scrapbooked this event before
But I got a poofy album
So you and me we scrapbooking
You and me we scrapbooking
You and me we scrapbooking
You and me we scrapbooking
I got a poofy album
You and me we scrapbooking
Lauren London - additional vocals
Copyright 2021 Zach London
Watch the needle move
Right and leftwards
Like a metronome
Half the people are
Screaming F-words
And the other half’ll swear at the next swearing in
What’s the thing that keeps you seething at the ceiling when you’re in bed?
Does it make you see red?
Got a pretty little
Got a pretty little
Got a pretty little
Got a pretty little head
I’m not supposed to worry it
Why should I bloody my fists on the wall?
When it’s all
Under control
That’s what he said
So don’t you worry your
Pretty little head
I should not worry at all
So I will not worry at all
Will the village’s
Referendum
I petitioned for
Get the millages,
Gain some momentum?
I could kill all the bitches who voted it down
What’s the thing that keeps you seething at the ceiling when you’re in bed?
Does it make you see red?
Got a pretty little
Got a pretty little
Got a pretty little
Got a pretty little head
I’m not supposed to worry it
Why should I bloody my fists on the wall?
When it’s all
Under control
That’s what he said
So don’t you worry your
Pretty little head
I should not worry at all
So I will not worry at all
Well I heard about it
Then I read about it
Then it occurred to me that it would follow I could wallow in my dread about it
Or I could trust the word of an absurd turd who said rest assured, rest assured
I shouldn’t sweat about it
Get upset about it
Lose my head about
Just forget about it
And not worry my precious little funny little stupid little
Pretty little head about it
Pretty little head about it
When it’s all
Under control
That’s what he said
So don’t you worry your
Pretty little head
I’m not supposed to worry it
Why should I bloody my fists on the wall?
When it’s all
Under control
That’s what he said
So don’t you worry your
Pretty little head about it
I should not worry at all
Got a pretty little head
I’m not supposed to worry it
Why should I bloody my fists on the wall?
When it’s all
Under control
That’s what he said
So don’t you worry your
Pretty little head
I should not worry at all
So I will not worry at all
I will not worry at all
No I will not worry at all
Lauren London - lead vocals
Scarlett London - additional vocals
Copyright 2021 Zach London
We’ve sailed across the ocean
We’ve hunted near and far
We’ve never hunted for anything
Except the mighty gar
Some men say we’re crazy
And truth be told we are
We will descend into lunacy
To sight the mighty gar
Some men sport the mutton chops
And some the handlebar
Nothing compares to the facial hair
Upon the mighty gar
Some men travel by railway
And some men go by car
We never travel by any means
Except the mighty gar
The mighty gar she goes she goes
The mighty gar she goes pah-ruh-puh-pum
Pah-ruh-puh-pum
Ra pum pum
The mighty gar she knows she knows
The mighty gar is mightier than some
Puh ruh puh puh pum!
Some men top their Christmas trees
With ornament or star
We’ll never top it with anything
Except the mighty gar
Some men puff a cigarette
And some a fat cigar
We’ll never puff upon anything
Except the mighty gar
Some men strum the mandolin
And some the steel guitar
We would trade all our winter coats
To strum the mighty gar
Some dress up for Halloween
To get a candy bar
Knock on my door and say Trick or Treat
Receive the mighty gar
The mighty gar she goes she goes
The mighty gar she goes pah-ruh-puh-pum
Pah-ruh-puh-pum
Ra pum pum
The mighty gar she knows she knows
The mighty gar is mightier than some
Puh ruh puh puh pum!
We’ve sailed across the ocean
We’ve hunted near and far
We’ve never hunted for anything
Some men say we’re crazy
And truth be told we are
We will descend into lunacy
To sight the mighty gar
She goes she goes
The mighty gar she goes pah-ruh-puh-pum
Pah-ruh-puh-pum
Ra pum pum
The mighty gar she goes she goes
The mighty gar she goes pah-ruh-puh-pum
Pah-ruh-puh-pum
Ra pum pum
The mighty gar she goes she goes
The mighty gar she goes pah-ruh-puh-pum
Pah-ruh-puh-pum
Ra pum pum
The mighty gar she knows she knows
The mighty gar is mightier than some
Puh ruh puh puh pum!
Lauren London - additional vocals
Malcolm London - additional lyrics
Scarlett London - flute
Copyright 2021 Zach London
Would you walk it back or reel it back in?
Your mouth has a leak
And no one can seal it
You released it, now re-leash the Kraken
Leash it, seal it
Reel it back in
If you bite your tongue
The world would feel it
Your foot in your mouth
So deep that you’re gagging
Cross the line until there’s no backtracking
Way too late to
Reel it back in
We who defy your
Verbal diarrhea
Say bye, you’re fired,
Go be a
Retiree, you’re
A liar, you’ll
Be a liar still,
But we’ll no longer see ya
That’s the entire idea
That’s the entire idea
How’d we get the brute from central casting?
Casting our votes,
We’re sending you packing
The pick is in and now you can’t appeal it
Hijack it, steal it,
Or hack it
Don’t you feel it?
Won’t you reel it back in?
Lauren London - vocals
Copyright 2020 Zach London
