Hollywood toast
Friar’s Club roast
Ambassador of blonde
Machiavellian tennis in the soul-warming sun
Eyes like a fawn
Dig ‘til I drown
Picking the music but turning it down
Let us marry our cultures together
Permute and combine
Unite and intertwine
Let us marry our cultures together
Kaleidoscopic alloy
I’m not that kind of boy
I’m not that kind of boy
I’m not that kind of boy
Pinch for the blush
Cameo crush
Timeshare in Cabo
Weaving and heaving and blurry like an ancient prison tat
Clench and release
Watching my niece
Butchering pieces of Fur Elise
I’ve had enough of that
Let us marry our cultures together
Permute and combine
Unite and intertwine
Let us marry our cultures together
Kaleidoscopic alloy
I’m not that kind of boy
I’m not that kind of boy
I’m not that kind of boy
Jon Greenlee - Drums
Copyright 2016 Zach London
M
A J-name I'll bequeath you,
And Jacobs heart, it will be instilled
Before and beneath you,
A running start on which to build
Hey kid, it's your father
I always thought that your mom and I ought to
Name you, name you Troy
Name you Troy
After cousin Harris,
Who was named after Hector and Paris
And the namesake chain
Is a complicated mess
But we hope for the best
And impart on you the loveliness and not the pain
Greg wrote in his emails
Everything was basically fine
I don't know the details
But I should have read between the lines
Hey kid, when we went to
Have you weighed, I'm afraid that we meant to
Name you, name you Troy,
Name you Troy
After cousin Harris
Who was named after Hector and Paris
And the namesake chain
Is a complicated mess
But we hope for the best
And impart on you the loveliness and not the pain
So take not this depression
Another dot in the line of succession
It's a complicated mess
The namesake chain
But we hope for the best
And we pray for the same
And we know you'll inherit the loveliness and not the pain
Lauren London - additional vocals
Malcolm London - wood block
J. Vandersloot - fiddle
Copyright 2016 Zach London
Pick two
You get to pick two
Family, friends, health and career
Two is a regimen that you can stick to
Try to have more
If you try have more
Than a couple the bubble goes pop
Wat, wat
Now you suck at all four (I know)
Pick two
Pick two
Clap clap clap clap clap clap ow.
My hands are missing more skin than a bongo player
I'm not only spread thin, I'm a monolayer
Too often it's thus
The wheels are off of the bus and I cuss like a guano sprayer
You're accustomed to customer service but mister,
I'm mustering all of the hustle I've got,
The luster is gone, every muscle shot
Every mussy hair tied in a knot
But I must cope
I mustn't be flustered, I must bring my own rope
Kind of like Colonel Mustard
Or I might just combust
Or rust into dust
This job is a cluster and who can you trust
The myth that I'm so well-adjusted, is just that
Hey journal club, go discuss that
I'm not really disgusted, I'm just sad
But the thrust is I'm basically busted
The second I run out of breath, and I just did
Sorry I lost my place.
Pick two
You get to pick two
Family, friends, health and career
Two is a regimen that you can stick to
Try to have more
If you try have more
Than a couple the bubble goes pop
Wat, wat
Now you suck at all four
(I know)
Pick two
Pick two
Clap clap clap clap clap clap thhppt.
Son of a gun it's sure fun to make fun of those
Mothers who hover like a chopper
Or a hovercraft, part of the mother craft's
Learning to smother like a stalker
But hey soccer mom in the long run
Your tagalong son's in for a shocker
When he's too tall to latch on to your knocker
And carries the ball without you as a lead blocker
And any parent would
It's part of parenthood
If you're caring enough for childbearing, good
You've inherited some inherent good
But apparently I'm incoherent, good
Oh! Oy!
But I'm a big talker
Oy vey!
What a macher
I'm making mixes like Betty Crocker
And changing up beats like a beta-blocker
But why would a kid a want a wannabe rocker for a dad
I'm off doing Hard Taco and if they want to talk or they're feeling sad
If I hovered a bit, would that be so bad
The cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
And I'll read to you soon, when I'm done with this tune
Pick two
You get to pick two
Family, friends, health and career
Two is a regimen that you can stick to
Try to have more
If you try have more
Than a couple the bubble goes pop
Wat, wat
Now you suck at all four
(Yep.)
Pick two
Pick two
Clap clap clap clap
So pshaw, blank page
I'm breaking out of my Shawshank cage
I can be a rank and file fool
Or a freak in a Frankenstein rage
I must assuage the muse of Dr. Seussian verse
For there's so much to thank her for
She's my anchor for
The days when my veins fill with Sanka
For giving me something to hanker for
I don't get bored if I don't record
I get cranky and rancorous, frankly cantankerous,
Rankled and raw like a canker sore
There's no literal blood or literal sweat
No literal sweat or literal tears
But literally since the first four track cassette
I've been literally haunted for 20 odd years
By this pick in my wallet there
Which I use for musical solitaire
Gotta call it like it is, gotta call it fair
And if nobody listens
I don't care
They don't know what they're missing
I don't care
I'm not moaning and pissing
Hey, don't swear
Did you notice my link on your phone there
And my quote unquote best friends
Won't spare
Three minutes a month
But I don't care
I'll just stick with my stupid Stallone stare
I don't need their ears
I got my own pair
I don't need their ears
I got my own pair
Pick two
You get to pick two
Family, friends, health and career
Two is a regimen that you can stick to
Pick two
You get to pick two
Family, friends, health and career
Two is a regimen that you can stick to
Pick two
You get to pick two
Family, friends, health and career
Two is a regimen that you can stick to
Try to have more
If you try have more
Than a couple the bubble goes pop
Wat, wat
Now you suck at all four
(I know.)
Pick two
Pick two
Clap clap clap clap clap bow
Thank you!
Thank you!
Copyright 2014 Zach London
Manchego, manchego, da da da da da da
Manchego, manchego, da da da da da da
Manchego, manchego, da da da da da da
Manchego, manchego, da da da da da da
Sing a song of Manchego
When you think of Manchego, child
Remember days that we smiled
Manchego, manchego, da da da da da da
Manchego, manchego, da da da da da da
Manchego, manchego, da da da da da da
Manchego, manchego, da da da da da da
Sing a song of Manchego
When you think of Manchego, Son
Remember all we have done today
Manchego, manchego, da da da da da da
Manchego, manchego, da da da da da da
Jon Greenlee - drums
Lauren London - additional vocals
Scarlett London - additional vocals
Darin Zahuranec - trumpet
Copyright 2015 Zach London
I'm going riding on a sleigh ride pulled
By a one-legged horse and a two-legged bull
A three-legged nag
And a four-legged foal
It's Christmas and I'm in love
Christmas and I'm in
La la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la la
One-legged horse-drawn sleigh
We're going riding on a sleigh ride pulled
By a four-legged mare
And a three-legged mule
Two lovers hover round the
One log of yule
It's Christmas and I'm in love
Christmas and I'm in love.
Fa la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la la
One-legged horse-drawn sleigh
Lauren London - vocals
Copyright 2014 Zach London